The Legend of Link's Revenge

Disclaimer: I do not own the legend of zelda characters or anything else. I do however own the word 'hangmenow' which is a very uncreative word I created for the story.

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Saria, Link, Zelda, Mido and Darunia all happened to be in the courtyard of the castle having a campfire, telling stories, and cooking marshmallows. Of course the king didn’t approve of it, but he never got off his fat ass to do anything so it didn’t matter. They had dug a pit earlier that day which was now where the fire was burning and they had set up some logs around the pit for themselves to sit on.

“And so the people cheered and the giant fish that was flying beside me said, “Fish can’t fly,” then he fell on the people and they died,” Link finished with a flourish.

“So that’s what happened when you woke up the wind fish?” Zelda asked looking at Link as if she didn’t believe a word of it.

“Yup.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Zelda opened her mouth to question Link again, hoping to get a different answer, but Saria interrupted.

“Good story Link, we all enjoyed it! Now who’s telling a story next?” she asked.

Kaepora Gaebora flew down from his perch up in a nearby tree and landed on one of the logs where Saria, Link, Zelda, Mido and Darunia were sitting.

“I have a story for all of you,” he said simply.

Link winced and then promptly put his face in his hands. He knew how that owl could go on and on and on about something.

“Kaepora Gaebora could easily replace the energizer bunny simply by talking about the weather,” he thought, “Wait, what is the energizer bunny?” he said out loud.

Everyone was looking at him blankly, even the owl, and it was hard to tell how an owl was looking at you.

“What? Can’t I talk to myself in peace?” he asked rather rudely.

“Uh yeah sure, do whatever you want Link,” Darunia said dismissively.

They all turned to look at Kaepora Gaebora (except Link who was now wondering what the hell the energizer bunny was), and Mido told him to go ahead with the story.

So Kaepora Gaebora began his story, “When I was a young child I was chosen to be the Sage of Light…” he spread his wings as he said ‘Sage of Light’ to give effect to the story, but it didn’t. He continued, “They put me in a temple where I was to live, so I could learn to harness the powers of…” and that’s when the majority of the group decided not to listen. Instead they tried to play silent games like; Throw the marshmallow at Link! Poke Mido witha roasting stick! Or my personal favourite, Throw the flaming marshmallow into the pond! After playing a hard core game of ‘Throw the flaming marshmallow into the pond!’ they all started to get bored, so they decided to listen to the owl again.

Currently the owl had reached a part in the story about when he was twenty and he had found a rock that did something so incredibly boring writing it here would make you want to rip your eyes out and play ping pong with them. They all groaned with despair as the bird kept talking, sounding suspiciously like redeads, but the bird ignored this as he was telling his hangmenow story.(hangmenow is a term I just created for how boring his story is).

Eventually they went into a hangmenow induced coma and were all thankful that they didn’t have to listen to the owl anymore.

Link woke up to Kaepora Gaebora leaning over him.

“So, yes or no?” he asked.

Link had no idea what the bird was asking he was still half asleep.

“Yes?” he guessed groggily.

“Ah excellent I shall tell you the story again!” the bird proclaimed.

Link was wide awake now and he realized everyone was gone. He stood up and ran like the wind almost quite literally; in fact for you could see a bit of a dust cloud left behind him as he escaped from the courtyard.

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