Fan Fiction

Inu in Clocktown

By linksbestfriend001
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Chapter 5: Termina Fields

Link explained to the group that he had decided to go to look for Allisa in Termina Fields alone, and of coarse the group disagreed with him. "No, we will go with you, Link!" Kagome told him. "It is to dangerouse in Termina Fields. The whole place is crawling with monsters!" Link told the group. Kagome made a pretty good argument with Link, until he gave up and let them come with him.

After preparing for their journey Link, Inuyasha, Kagome, Songo and Miroku Left for Termina Fields. On the way, Link was thinking of Allisa.

~Allisa's POV~

I looked around the room, and finally I saw him. "What do you want from me!" I yelled to him. He let out a small laugh and came towards me with a knife in his hand.

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Comments on this chapter

Koroks Rock says:

If it gets any shorter it will not be approved. This isn't a chapter, it's something you write on your arm in pen to remind yourself. Perhaps I should add an amendment to the rules- "must be of greater length/ word count than the back of a normal cereal box."

Seriously, how hard can it be to actually write a bit of the arguement? You completely jumped over the meat of the subject. You ought to describe to us what is said, who says it and how, and what the others' reactions are to it. All you did is tell us a conversation happend and what came of it. It's not even technically a dialogue, because there isn't actually an exchange, only two shots in the dark.

And Allissa's POV... what's up with that? you could have at least given us a rough description of the man or the setting... even the knife would have been a good thing to describe.

Oh darn, my comment is longer than your chapter. That's really not good, not good at all. I think I will have to institue the ceral box rule.

Kavi_Darkwolf says:

Rats! You already said everything I was going to say! Ceral box... Priceless!

linkscopy says:

Cool, but when are you going to make anther chapter?

linkiala says:

l;ouch.gif Ok he didn't give a description of the setting.
I thought the Allissa"s POV was a great idea but that's just what I think.
Still the ceral box rule sounds a little harsh but that's just me.

update.gif I like this story.
Can't wait for more chapters.